I don’t do the whole “primary” “secondary” thing, my relationships all have different qualities and I can’t/don’t measure those against each other. After all what’s the smell of an apple worth vs. the sound of a piece of classical music? Which one of those is “primary”?

Personally I don’t particularly like seeing the terms but I accept their usage. It just seems like having a hierarchy gives an easy excuse to dismiss certain people as less important or valid (maybe that’s just my baggage though from having to deal with the trans community and some annoyingly idiotic “transier than thou” types).