I prefer not to use such terms but rather call people by their current roles in my life.
Like this … X is my co-writer and boyfriend, Y is my husband and we own property together, etc. Who’s primary? Primary in what regard??? Y is primary when it comes to helping me decide kitchen renos, X when it comes to plot-lines, Y when it comes to decisions about electronics, X when I want to talk about social issues etc. etc. other people I’m not even in romantic/sexual relationships with are primary in other ways.
Let the chips fall where they may …