I met back up with a vanilla friend/co-worker I hadn’t seen in years at a swinger party and exchanged numbers. It quickly turned from old friends catching up to thousands of texts a day and quickly developed into a relationship of it’s own. My husband and his wife weren’t comfortable with it (understandably) and we tried at least 5 times ver the corse of 3 years to cut eachother out. We just couldn’t give each other up because the connection became too strong. Fast forward a few years and we’re both divorced and living together. I’m not saying your situation is the same but I remember flat out lying to myself and others by saying that it wasn’t that serious.
My advice would be to be honest 1st and foremost with yourself (because that’s who it seems like you’re deceiving right now), and then with your husband. I don’t know how it will work out for you but it’s got to be better and healthier than years of lies and mistrust.