finding play partners is about chemistry. Here is a bit of basic advice for the beginner:
1. DO NOT ATTEMPT SWINGING TO FIX A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP. I cannot stress that point enough. I’m not suggesting that you and your husband have any issues, but swinging only works in the confines of a healthy, stable relationship.
2. As stated by almost everyone else, communication is key. Never be afraid to say no. That applies to potential play partners, active play partners AND to your other half. No matter the situation, you have the right to stop ANY activity you are uncomfortable with, including activity you’re not an active participant in (i.e. your partner is engaging in something with someone else that raises a red flag).
3. Set your rules, BEFORE you play. If there is anything you can imagine making either partner uncomfortable, make it off limits. Don’t go into any situation without limits, until you know your boundaries. Rules can change, be added to, deleted, or modified at any later time, but they should be set between you two, prior to any alcohol fueled swing fest.
4. Many swinger websites/groups host meet and greets. These are low pressure social events, usually held in local bars, or nightclubs, where you can meet other like minded couples. For the beginners, they are a great way to meet folks without expectations of getting naked immediately, as is often the case at a swingers club, or house party.
5. Bring your own protection. This rule should be common sense, but doubly applies here. You and your partner are likely used to sex without a condom, therefore they become an afterthought. You are both responsible for your own, and your partners, sexual health.
6. Discuss the experience after the fact. This can’t be overlooked. Swinging has many positives, one of which is how easily it becomes to talk to your partner after you have watched each other have sex with other people. But the experience needs to be shared, and discussed, and explored after. This allows you to modify the rules, and to figure out better ways to proceed in the future.
7. Avoid Adult Friend Finder. Far too many fakes, scams, and single dudes just looking to perv on pics (not that there is anything wrong with the last part). Better sites exist, SLS and SDC among them, but, as with any personals site, proceed with caution, as none are “foolproof”.
Best of luck, and happy swinging! Let us know how it goes for you!