Hi and welcome to the lifestyle! It will take you time to settle in, as what you will be exploring runs contrary to everyday rules and conventional morals, but don’t let this put you off. Sex with more than just one other person is completely natural and one of life’s great pleasures – my wife and I both agree on all that.
We have been swingers for 10 years now, and went through the various stages steadily. Looking back, we know that was right for us. First, we discussed the idea of swinging and were happy to give it a try. She was a bit more reluctant than me as she had worries about women being used as sex objects and that the swinging game was all about male lusts and pleasure (she was happy to find this is completely wrong!). We then visited a swinger club, and saw people in playrooms, fucking happily with others alongside them doing the same, while other people (like us) watched. We got nude and joined in, not interacting with others on this first visit. Sex surrounded by others was wonderful and any minor reservations we might have had soon went in the sexually-charged atmosphere of the playroom.
The next day we discussed everything, and both of us were keen to keep swinging and take things further. Rose was reluctant to fuck with another man at this stage, but was very keen to soft-swing, I was ready to fuck another woman but agreed to go at her pace. So on our next club visit we got talking to another couple in the bar and explained our situation. We went to a playroom, swapped partners and did everything short of fucking – when we were all ready we changed back to our own partners for that. We did that with two other couples on that visit and carried on that way for several more visits. Again, we discussed everything fully the days after.
A few months after we started, Rose felt ready for a full swap and when we found a couple to play with, we went “all the way” (with condoms). That was a major step in our evolution, and that evening we fucked with a second couple and ended the night joining in an orgy. We agreed next day that it all felt right and we both really wanted to continue swinging.
Now we were full or hard swingers, we found ourselves invited to join others in their homes for 4somes and sex-parties. We began inviting others back to our place for the same fun. Group-sex is now completely natural for us and has become a regular pleasure. We have made some really good friends; some we bareback with, some we holiday with, some we do both with. One discovery we made early on was that swingers are normal people who just love sex more than the average person.
So my advice would boil down to – 1. communicate, constantly; discuss things before you swing and analyze things afterwards; this helps dispel jealousy which can ruin things. 2. don’t rush, go at the pace of the slowest. 3. No means no, whoever you are playing with, don’t get talked into something you’re not happy with or ready for; 4. HAVE FUN! Swinging is all about expanding your horizons, pushing your boundaries. Live your fantasies – you will probably try bisexuality, DPing, GBing and may well love them!
Good luck, would love to know how you get on! Please post your experiences for everyone to read.