July 29, 2014 at 1:02 pm #2578
I am brand new to the whole scene and have been looking over these posts and haven’t really found an answer to this question:
Does anyone get pleasure from flogging WITHOUT being tied to a St. Andrew’s cross or a bed or something? It seems to me that you do not have to be submissive to enjoy being flogged. Am I misperceiving this?July 29, 2014 at 1:04 pm #2579
You can be flogged standing in the middle of the room, laying on a table, or hanging from your ankles as you swing (moving target). But none of that has to be submissive.
Your question implies that the act of being tied to something is being submissive. But this is not true, being tied is being tied there is no way to understand the intent behind it without asking the person. There are many labels int he BDSM world. Sometimes to our detriment.
In the simplest terms the action in most play scenes can be described as having a top performing an action on a bottom. If there is no mental dynamic in the scene this is where it ends. However if there is a dominate/submissive component that can add to the scene, but the matchup is not necessarily top=dom & bottom=sub. T dominate in the relationship may like to get flogged and so they take the bottom position and have their submissive flog them. The dominate can even be tied to a cross, the act does not decide the mental state, it’s the mental state that decides the act.
I have a friend on Fet who lists “Having the, ‘I’m a bottom and not a submissive conversation.'” as one of her dislikes on her profile. She loves to be restrained, flogged, pinched, etc. but there is no D/s dynamic in the scene when I play with her. Conversely, my wife is submissive and the D/s relationship we have is mostly in play all of the time even though we are not sceneing.
The bottom line really is to find what you like and do that and have fun. There is a growing trend on Fet to use the description Kinkster. I think this is a great way to say, “None of these labels fit me, but I enjoy this stuff.”
So, I guess the short answer is, No, you do not have to be submissive to enjoy being flogged.July 29, 2014 at 1:12 pm #2580
Well, I prefer being tied because it helps me relax, but I know plenty of people who don’t, especially at play parties. Why don’t you just try it out and see what works for you? 🙂
And of course plenty of people who enjoy impact play or bondage are not submissive at all. If anyone tells you the opposite or expects you to submit just because you’d like to bottom in a scene, chances are they’re a manipulative asshole (or very uninformed & prejudiced).July 29, 2014 at 1:14 pm #2581
I have never been bound while receiving flogging and only one of my four bottoms is regularly bound and he’s bound for most activities, not just flogging. Personally, I have trouble being comfortably bound while maintaining a good position to be flogged in, because of physical limitations on my part and being bound isn’t really my thing. Impact play is something very therapeutic for me, especially because I have chronic pain. I can be submissive to someone topping me but it’s rare, there is often no D/s in me receiving flogging.July 29, 2014 at 1:20 pm #2582
I’m dominant, but I’m also a pretty heavy masochist… so no, you needn’t be submissive to enjoy a good flogging.
Furthermore, I would find it absolutely impossible to ind any pleasure whatsoever in being flogged while bound. First, I hate bondage (on the receiving end) and second, I enjoy particularly heavy, nasty floggings and would be at serious risk of broken bones/dislocated shoulders if I were bound to something.
On the other hand, one of my parters pretty much requires being bound to enjoy anything, but he still likes certain floggings unbound (as I won’t tie him for safetly reasons).July 29, 2014 at 1:23 pm #2583
you do not have to be ‘bound’ to receive a flogging. Quite often at parties, I’ll have the lady stand on the cross, lean on a post, bend over a couch, lay on a couch, Kneel on the floor , kneel on a chair, lean on a friend.
It’s all what gets you where you want to go.
I’ve been asked to “be gentle” and I’ve been told “Hit me you son of a bitch” … OK Here ya go!
I’ve gone and wailed on a back and arse, and I’ve done rhythmic impact starting very easy and soft and worked up to a medium hit, and left it at that. Some want marks some times, I’ve never left a mark.
Some barely got even much pink, others, yea they have felt it every time they sat down all week long. It all depends on what you want, where your needs, what can get you into the head space your seeking.
As I’m sure it’s stated here, stay away from the area where the kidneys are. back and shoulders, arse and thighs, breasts and chest, legs and crotch, this is where the Floggers Play!July 29, 2014 at 1:28 pm #2584
I’m very fond of ropes, so i’ve always preferred being tied up when being flogged, whipped or slapped. But soon after we met, my current lover introduced me to what I call “mutual flogging”. It started one day when I was taking a shower, and she pulled the shower curtain aside and to my surprise, snapped my ass with a wet towel. She then threw the towel at me, and said “Your turn!”. She quickly grabbed another towel, and began snapping it at my butt, and it turned into a towel fight. We both enjoyed it. Now, we have evolved into each of us having a flogger, and having flogger fights. I would never have had all this fun had she not got me started on it. So yes, you can have lots of fun without being tied up.
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