Honey, I hate to put a damper on things, but if you guys are just considering poly as an option, and you are already feeling this way… and he is already (seemingly) keeping stuff from you… and your best coping mechanism is to cut off communication?

You know where I’m going with this. Be aware of how challenging just casual swinging can be, and then multiply that for polyamory. The cure for communication problems is more communication, not less.

Just tell him you have noticed the increase in texting, whatever, and you are waiting for him to tell you what is going on. No demands, just take the cover of intrigue away from him, and let him know he ain’t quite as slick as he thinks, so he has to come out with it, and sooner is better than later.

Guess I am low-tech, but for anything not involving suspending weight, I like strips of torn-up old cotton bedsheets. Run them through the washing machine with fabric softener. They are so soft, yet very strong and inescapable, yet they cut like butter with a knife or scissors if placed under a little bit of tension. Cheaper than rope so you don’t have to feel bad about single use. Also, you can have them in all kinds of pretty/sexy colors: blue, purple, red, rose, pink, black, etc. Even in suspension, cloth strips are nice for tying the wrists and ankles when not part of the weight-bearing rig.

My guy suggests the following: (1) If the plumbing under your sink is metal, and not cheap PVC pipe, it can be a good thing to be chained to by the neck or ankle using a long chain. Very difficult to disassemble the plumbing without tools, especially if your hands are tied. Also, it keeps you close to the bathroom if you are going to be chained up for long periods of time. (2) If you get a stud finder at the hardware store, you can probably locate the 2×4 wood planks in the ceiling. Just install a hook used to hang plants and use some thread-locking glue to keep it from being easily removed. Hang plants or a light from the hook when not used for kinky fun to hide its real purpose. If you put the hook near the corner, it looks pretty natural and the girl looks cute standing there with her hands tied above her head. When you have to move, either leave the hook in place (it is not likely to be noticed if you get one painted white to start with), or get some pliers and twist it out. Patch the small hole with spackle or spray paint. If there are no studs, you can get the ceiling hooks with a little spring-loaded device that springs out once it is passed through the hole in the drywall. This is not as strong, but you still need a great deal of force to bring it down if the dry or wet wall was well done. (3) There are lots of ways to tie a girl in a closet or to the shelves or hanger rod. (4) If he or you are at all handy, you can make an easy to disassemble frame from 2X4s or pvc tubing to keep the girl sitting or kneeling. The key is to keep the girl’s weight on the base made of plywood. Then, she can’t scoot the frame around. It’s equivalent to being chained to a heavy object. (5) Metal wire dog cages for large dogs often dissassemble into relatively small volumes. They usually have a nice foam cushion for the base. (6) Being chained to a door knob often works remarkably well. Just lock the door to keep the girl from opening the door. Or if it the door to the outside of the apartment, she is probably not going to be keen to open it!

Hah! Cute story Verinna!

I met my hubby at in the same Real Estate office that I work at. We were both a bit of a mess. I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me and he found out his ex had cheated on him. I guess misery loves company. We have been together for 2 years.

Well, it really isn’t rocket science. Unlike knots in some ropes, these knots usually hold remarkably well. Just have scissors and maybe a knife readily available. Under tension, strips of bedsheets cut like butter, much easier than most rope. The downside is that they don’t cut well when not under tension, and the knots (while they can be undone) take a bit of effort to loosen–long fingernails help.

I like the feel–soft but very strong, and not as stretchy as some rope. You can also choose your own widths. And they look great!

Hey Renaissance Rope. Thanks for the suggestion, I’ve updated http://rekink.com/bondage/rope-vendors/ with your vendor page. I’ve never heard of Violet Wand reactive ropes before. Can you explain the process a bit?