Do you use these terms?

No, I don’t. I’m just not into relationship hierarchies.

I have a partner that I spend 3-5 nights a week with, and have been with him for a little over a year. I spend time with his son and we communicate daily.

I was in a LDR when we first started dating and for the majority of our relationship. I’ve since started casually dating other people.

I’ve valued all of these relationships equally and none of them have ever had more of a priority in my life.

Do you have any opinion about other people using them?

From my perspective, having a primary partner is a way to exert control because of insecurities about being “replaced” or feel threatened. Every relationship is different and play a different role in a person’s life. No need to create hierarchies.

The previous 2 partners I met, I met through my volunteer work. One thing about volunteering is, you know whomever you meet will at least have the same cause in common with you.

On POF I made sure I put a statement about being on the right side of the slash and left it at that so if they knew what it meant, we also had that in common, but if they didn’t know, then it was just something I had to figure out a bit more about.

I dont much care for the terms but I understand their use in establishing a commonly easily understandable concise method of communicating meaning regarding something which can be complex to convey using other terms such as partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover etc.

I think my objection comes from the value which seems to go with the terms; that primary is more important and secondary sounds like some kind of afterthought. My relationship in a triad is not an equal one. In that they are married to each other, live together and although we share each other, enjoy shared time and intimacy together, I am very much separate to their unit together. However I don’t consider myself secondary in terms of value. Our relationship with each other as individuals is different and different again from our relationship together as a three.

i never used those terms the way i seen it was we were all one an one relationship. we spent equal time together the three of us but we also had time with each other alone.

OK Cupid is the one I am on.
I read Craigs List all the time but am too timid to actually respond to anyone on there.

Bruises, permanent marks and scars are badges of honor which must be worn.

I love visible bruises too, though I do get a bit nervous of the finger-shaped ones that make it obvious I’ve been grabbed/held-down, since I can’t explain them away with a casual “oh I bumped into a table” etc. They look incredibly hot though!

Here’s my most memorable actual experience with bruises….

My neighbor across the street had done some mechanical work on my old ’72 Ranchero. One day the bell on the gate to my large, gated compound rang, I answered it and there was this VERY cute, angelic-looking boy, probably around 14, standing there. He explained that he was now living for a while with his grand-dad ( he had a 1-bedroom duplex unit) across the street and he was returning a mechanic’s manual I had loaned him.

I was totally in shock when I saw the very obvious deep bruises on the boy’s neck….in fact I was too much in shock to even comment (although I’m sure I stared quite obviously). the boy was wearing a tank-top that did nothing to hide the multiple dark bruises that seemed to go all around his slender neck. Later I felt guilty remorse that I hadn’t asked the boy about the bruises. Maybe his Grandfather had abused him for some reason (he was a rather rough and brutal old retired mechanic and was probably capable of such). But I also speculated that perhaps the boy had been experimenting with auto-asphyxiation or even auto-hanging (as I understand is not uncommon among some high-school kids these days).